31 January 2007

Think, Then Speak

In the same vein, the boss and I met with this database consultant guy to see if he would be able to make heads or tails of the "contact list" given to us by one of our clients.

In the 'pointless small talk' section of the meeting (always has to be there),


Mr. Database: I've been with the company for twenty years.

Boss: Wow, that's really something. (smiling at me) You should think about doing something for twenty years.

Mr. Database: Maybe you should try hitting your twentieth birthday. (snickers to himself)


Jackass. Yes, I look young. I understand that. But give me the benefit of the doubt, huh? Ten minutes after I met you, I could come up with at least ten reasons not to take you seriously:

10. You look like your mother dressed you.

9. You are wearing a sweater from approximately 1987.

8. The shirt underneath the sweater is wrinkled.

7. Your office is a giant mess.

6. Your computer appears to be older than my high school degree

5. You snort when you laugh

4. It smells weird in here.

3. Your pants are too short.

2. Your last name is hyphenated in some sort of pathetic nod to equality with your wife.

1. You're shaped like Humpty-Dumpty.


But did I comment on any of them or purposely make you feel uncomfortable? I did not. Don't underestimate me buddy - I'll eat you alive.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So good, so very good. This is exactly the right attitude with which to meet put-downs, be they deliberate or oblivious. You go, girl!