You know about my Friday (see previous post). Or you thought you did anyway. Believe it or not, it was also the day I'd picked to have my "I'm worried you just need a secretary and you sure didn't hire one/this was a (however unintentional) bait and switch" talk with my boss.
Between those two things, it was one of the worst days in recent memory. Bottom five overall, since I truly realized, for the first time, that I'm not going to find the challenge I'm looking for in nonprofit work. The pace is slow, the people are...content is a diplomatic way to put it..., and the energy and strategy seems to be in development instead of program/project management where I want to be. Though I can't give up the belief that there are some decent nonprofit jobs, I'm not willling to waste another year finding out.
Needless to say, the talk with the boss didn't go great. Or more accurately, it went okay, but he showed up today having spent no time thinking about it and proceeded to leave me out of the introductions to the new Board member and miss not one but two chances to give me credit for my ideas. I gave up an awful lot, most notably coworkers and the prospect of A LOT more money, for the prospect of learning a lot and because he promised that he would help me build my career. Do the above examples sound like he gives a shit? And this 72 hours after I reminded him of that deal. I give it about 8 weeks. Any job ideas are appreciated.
Then (back to Friday) I went to girls-run-baseball-experiment #2, which I guess everyone else probably thinks went fine, but I thought people were kind of in the mood to stand around. And boy, some people really don't take instruction well. I think I managed to behave myself okay though, which is nice - and incredible considering my mood.
I've felt oddly motivated since, with the notable exception of this morning when I sat in my parked car in total silence for ten minutes because I didn't want to go to work. (Childish, yes, but it works for me) Anyone who has played rugby (particularly with me, but maybe it gives everyone this feeling) might recognize that feeling where you get knocked down so many times that it begins to motivate you. Sort of a pit bull phenomenon, if you will. So maybe it's that. Also, the first glimpse of spring arrived. Doesn't hurt.
Out of curiosity, did I lose my readers or just my commenters?
2 comments:
I'm still here! I just read you on Bloglines.com. Which means that I don't click through and show up on your counter. If you have one.
I'm sorry your job isn't turning out to be what you want. Having never had a real job, I have no help for you there.
I hear that a good way to find one is to find the person who has the job you want and figure out how they got it. Maybe contact our Big Green alma mater and see if they can match you up with anyone? Couldn't hurt to send an email or make a phone call. Or maybe there are professional organizations (Super Cool Non-Profit Rock Stars Who Do Meaningful Work of Chicago) you could stalk?
I'm here too! And sorry I missed your call - will call back this weekend :)
The good thing is that you are in the stage of your life where it's ok to move/change and not have too much "responsibility" to worry about. I say it's better to change and try new things than hang in there, uncontent while time slips by.
Go for it!
P.S. Vanderbilt won yesterday!
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